In the House of Death

It's early in the morning,

"I don't want to wake up!"
Fear, Feels Gambled
I don't know how to start each day with a horrible man.

Loud siren from both man and a woman
encourage and lifted up, that's what I'd assumed
Instead, they do pulling me down and down.

I want to close my eyes,
Placing my two hands quickly on my two ears
Words makes me feel the emptiness of rejection and mistreated,
Allowing myself to create a prison in which I suffer damage far greater.

Those woods and knives flashes to my sight
Detaches the pain and blasts the fire charges of hate
Every harsh words and words with bullet,
Adds deeply wound to my full of hatred heart.

Every corner of the house reminds great impact, a blood
The struggle I can't handle
The obstacles and circumstances, I don't know what's the purpose
The bumping of my head,
The reason for my sleepless nights!

"I don't wanna go home!"
Tragic, Horrific abuse, ensuing trial
Anguishes that brings me nearly to death.

This life's angriness I'd harboured was destructive
And the FORCING words of FORGIVENESS deepens the scavenge
It's not that easy dealing with such dark experience
For I was born a victim,
And will always be a victim!

After all, it's still bleeding
Fresh wounds from everyday fear
Roots of bitterness are still connected,
Little by little it grows and cannot be cut.

"I want to move away from this house!"
Be in a place of my dreams and silence,
A place of peace, of joy and of love
A place of freedom-- freedom from hate and fear.

Disingenouosness.

Disingenouosness,

No one says I'm bad,
No one says I'm terrible and dreadful,
Not a single person speak I'm badly behaved,
Not even a single soul says I'm of no value,
And nobody verbalize I'm of little worth,
Only when I'm totally distant and rear.

Why "bad influence" does come out of me everywhere?
Miserable to know, hard to understand.
"I just don't know why lot of people try to make things thorny?"
People whom you expect to be good and ally.

Maybe this things really meant for me.
(a little bit corny)
And none of which could relieve this clamouring heart,
Only this world and the people on it.
Those out of pretence,
Out of insincerity,
Out of falseness,
Out of two-facedness,
And out of untruthfulness.

LONESOME.

I walk through the night,

I walk through emotions inside,
I walk through without someone behind,
I walk through alone longing for someone at my back.

What hurts is that,
Through the pain and circumstances I am facing:
Someone would say it's a kind'a joke,
Someone would say it's a kind'a pretend,
Someone would say it's a kind'a mess around,
Without even knowing how it feel to be inflicted by such condition.

I walk across for the second time,
Being deserted,
Being isolated,
Being forlorn,
and being abandoned.

Thinking:
"NO ONE WILL SURELY BE AROUND! :( "

I know not,
this things would happen
My life has something to queer
As I was struggling alone to cheer.

I've seen darkness,
Covered up my blood
And my strange works remain undone
So stuck on a deep scavenge of darkness, that is why.

Everybody seems invisible
Don't know where to gain strength anymore.
They say it's too hard so they've quit,
My shadow and i are now the ones who meet.

Miles before when I'm walking with a friend
Now, she'd lost on my way again
Even the people you've expected to be with you,
They just do come and go!

Severs and wearies,
"when wil be your end?"
Come back when I have already someone to lean!
'cause they are out of nowhere,
I cant find them.

Do I have to look for them?
Where in my present stage,
They know I need them.
Or just a non-verbal that says,
"FIGHT ALONE! you F*****g Sh*t"

Fighting Alone

FRIEND

Teardrops of you might fall unto me
And the eyes of you could carry me
Though it seems you might have be no sight

Seeing you in the dark you still fight.

The heart of me heals of you my friend
Guilt and loneliness out 'cause it blends
Be with you might be accidentally
But this is where I long to be.

Kidding me so next laughter at all
That those thorns then everyday fall
At first accepting me by you I'm not sure
The heart of us now combined to shore.

Since our dearest friendship exist
Just like Internet which can't resist
How really blessed I am to have you,
Grateful to measure a kind of friend!